My Fiancé Died Young. Thank God We’d Planned Ahead.

When Stephanie Muhammad’s husband died in 2021, he wasn’t a homeowner. Nor was she. And that was just the start.

The economic headwinds that the newly-widowed Muhammad was about to confront became quickly apparent: There was no cushion in her bank account which meant she could no longer afford the rent on the home the couple had rented together. Also there was student loan debt that needed to be repaid for the couple’s four children. Within a year, Muhammad’s mother also needed to be placed in a nursing home.

Muhammad’s husband, Kelvin, who was a master electrician by trade, had helped her launch her business, Mecca Aqua Massage Spa, in a suburb of Birmingham, Al. He handled all of the electrical and renovation work. “I’m not that electrical savvy,” she said as she recalled her husband rewiring. 

Without a second income, Muhammad, who is now 61, was forced to move out of her home, which was owned by Kelvin's family, into a cheaper rental with her mother, grown daughter and grandson—four generations living under one roof to save money. 

She told me she wished they had purchased life insurance and bought a home before Kelvin died.  

Muhammad shared her story with me for my book, “Fifteen Cents on the Dollar: How Americans Made the Black-White Wealth Gap.” The book unpacks the particularly precarious economic situation of Black people in the U.S.—made so by the fact that the typical Black family has 15 cents in wealth for every $1 a typical white family has, according to federal data. If they lose their partners, Black women are particularly vulnerable because of these factors. 

Wealth is everything we own minus what we owe. It is different from income, which is our earnings. Income can be an input into wealth; wealth is often invisible because when we see people with a large home, expensive vehicles or degrees, we do not know how much debt that person may hold.

Wealth is often invisible because when we see people with a large home, expensive vehicles or degrees, we do not know how much debt that person may hold.

I understood firsthand the situation Muhammad navigated after her husband’s death. Like her, I lost my partner, although I was on more stable footing. In 2021, my fiancé, Terez A. Paylor, a national NFL writer for Yahoo Sports, died suddenly at age 37. 

Terez was a selector for the Pro Football Hall of Fame and had his own radio show in Kansas City, Mo. We bought our home six weeks before the pandemic and had started to make wedding plans. We had also completed estate planning, at the insistence of our attorney. 

Muhammad’s story, with a period of financial complexities and cash flow issues, is typical for widowed Black American women who face both income and wealth gaps. The gaps are created by the pay inequity all women face, but are worse for women of color: Black women earn less than their white counterparts and those who are college-educated carry more student loan debt than any other group (and almost three times as much as white men). 

Because a typical Black household in the U.S. has so much less wealth than a typical white household, Black women often have fewer economic resources when they lose a partner. This creates a particularly tricky situation for Black women in Black communities which tend to have a fraught historical relationship with banks. Banking institutions tend to be further away from Black communities, based on numerous studies. Even in 2024, despite federal laws in place, Black people are still more likely to experience discriminatory lending practices, according to the federal government.

Then there’s the stubborn gender pay gap which is even greater for women of color than it is for white women, according to the U.S. Government Accountability Office, a non-partisan agency that reports to Congress. “Women earned about $0.82 for every dollar men earned,” it wrote in a 2022 report. By contrast, “Black women earned about $0.63 for every dollar white men earned.” 

All of these issues are particularly concerning because Black people are also more likely than white people to be widowed, according to the U.S. Census’ most recent American Community Survey. Just under 9% of white people are currently widowed compared with 10.4% for Blacks—a 16% higher rate. (And that figure doesn’t account for people who have lost a partner after cohabiting, rather than marrying—an arrangement which Black Americans are more likely to enter into than their white counterparts.) 

The experiences of newly-widowed Black women range from not having enough money to run their households to needing temporary financial assistance as they await life insurance payouts, or even being forced to make long-term structural financial decisions such as taking on more work or delaying retirement plans.  

Black women partnered with Black men—who tend to have shorter life expectancies—in particular, need emergency and estate plans for their families, especially if they are unmarried. In some cases, it is left to Black women to handle the final financial expenses for other male relatives—cousins, nephews, sons and uncles who have not made their estate plans, named the appropriate beneficiaries or left enough money behind for other relatives. 

Joslyn Boyd, a certified financial advisor at BMG Advisors, who is also a Black woman,  says she encourages all families to think long term with life insurance, not just for their immediate needs.

Every year, Boyd does a personal review of her family’s estate plans, clearly setting out who is payable at death and listed on transfer deeds upon death for banking accounts, 401Ks, IRAs, real estate and other assets. 

For Mará Rose Williams, a Kansas City-based journalist, financial planning from 15 years ago impacts her to this day. In 2010, Williams lost her husband, Ceaser, who was also a journalist and teacher. The money he left their sons helped to pay for their college educations—with some left over.

But in the period between Ceaser’s death and Williams receiving those funds, she struggled. She juggled bills. At one point, she received an unexpected check from a group of nuns: She thought it was a mistake. The nuns told Williams there was no mistake—they knew she'd have to readjust some things after her husband died and they wanted to help.

During that readjustment period, Williams kept a light on at the front of her house. As she approached her house after work each evening, the beaming light signaled that her electricity was still on.

“That light symbolized to me I had it under control,” she said.

Estate planning: What you need to know

• Everyone should have a will and trust. Your partner is not your assumed heir, unless you are married. If you pass away, unmarried, without a will and trust, your estate would be passed along to your children, parents and siblings. This could leave your partner in a tough financial situation.
• Without an estate plan your assets likely will have to go through probate court, which is costly and time consuming for your surviving partner or family.
• Understand your tax situation on retirement accounts. People who leave money to spouses pay lower tax. If someone to whom you are not married (say a partner) leaves you their retirement account, for example, you will pay higher tax.
• Consider life insurance. People who are not married can get life insurance and leave it to each other. It is not taxed.
• If you buy property together, as my partner and I did, be sure to take possession of the property in a way that it passes to the other partner. We took title in joint tenancy because our home closed before our will and trust was completed.—Ebony Reed

Ebony Reed is the co-author of Fifteen Cents on the Dollar: How Americans Made the Black-White Wealth Gap. She is the chief strategy officer at The Marshall Project and also teaches an MBA class on income and wealth gaps at the Yale School of Management. She lives in Kansas City, Mo.