Alexa, How Do I Stop This Meltdown?

When my now wife and I moved in together in 2019, I was pretty smug about my lesbian lifestyle. We were two women with good incomes, who knew how to handle our business, keep a tidy house, and communicate about everything from our deepest feelings to the tedium of household life.

Five years later, I am not as smug. We have a house and a busy 1-year-old to care for. The work it takes to run our lives has gotten more complicated, and housework is no longer a priority. We’re lucky if we pick up even “the big toys” after the baby is in bed. My wife and I are just two of the more than sixty million parents in the U.S.—gay and straight—juggling the endless to-dos of parenthood, facing never-ending housework, and finding the whole thing stressful. 

Recently my wife asked me if I’d “please find time to call the doctor and book an 18-month check-up for our son.” A few days later, I overheard her on the phone, making our son’s 18-month appointment. Oops.

I’d dropped the ball and I was disappointed in myself. Here’s what I could have done. I could have reached for my phone and said the magic words: “Siri, set reminder to call doctor’s office.” In fact, I could have set up recurring reminders for this kind of thing when the baby was born. 

We live in a time when artificial intelligence promises to simplify our lives, do the thinking for us, even write our emails, resumes, and cover letters. So why couldn’t I do this one simple thing?